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Qatar ‘will be moved’ to hold Qatar World Cup, says Fifa official
Fifa has played down claims from its own general secretary that the 2022 World Cup can take place in Qatar only if the country is transported, sandbag by sandbag, somewhere else. Other senior members...
View ArticleBacon to become official England World Cup sponsor
Bacon is to become England’s official ‘World Cup Hangover’ sponsor for the 2014 World Cup, beating off stiff competition from other market leaders to land the coveted prize. Rashers of prime pork...
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Man who shook hands with Sepp Blatter apologises ‘for causing offence’
A man who yesterday shook hands with embattled FIFA president Sepp Blatter has sought to downplay the significance of his actions and apologise for any offence he may have caused. ‘It was never my...
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Christmas to be moved to accommodate Qatar World Cup
Concerns that a possible World Cup final on 23rd December may be too close to Christmas Day have been quashed today as FIFA has announced that Christmas Day will be moved to January. Representatives of...
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Friends angered by boy’s decision to move Subbuteo World Cup to winter
Friends of 9-year old Toby Brown have reacted angrily to the news that the Subbuteo World Cup they had planned for this summer has been put back to December. The tournament, which is being held at...
View ArticleBBC journalists get VIP tour of flagship Qatar prison
The Qatari government, keen to improve its reputation on human rights ahead of the 2020 World Cup, has allowed BBC journalists to witness its new detention arrangements at first hand. In a new era of...
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NATO to bomb FIFA
After a hastily convened session at the United Nations the Security Council has agreed that the only course of action available to them to protect 2.3 billion innocent yet hopeful football-mad...
View ArticleEngland ready to host 2022 World Cup bribes
The English FA has claimed they are ‘more than ready’ to host the next round of shady, under-the-table bribes, should the 2022 World Cup location be reconsidered following Sepp Blatter’s resignation....
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Sepp Blatter shock inclusion on the ‘naughty list’
An internal investigation by FIFA has resulted in an eight year exclusion from footballing activities for Mr. Blatter and his ‘little helper’ UEFA boss, Michel Platini. In further developments Santa...
View ArticleDeserts are ideal for running, insists Coe
IAAF Chairman, Seb Coe today launched an astonishing attack on the BBC for their coverage of the World Athletics Championships and in particular on presenter Gabby Logan. The Championships currently...
View ArticleRaab says Afghan refugee talks in Ibiza are ‘not another holiday’
Dominic Raab has denied that his current trip to discuss the Afghan refugee crisis is in fact a disguised holiday. The Foreign Secretary was spotted downing pints and acting raucously at the airport...
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